The Natural Twentys’
Spells, Incantations and Songs of Encouragement
1. Hero’s Feast
Hero’s Feast, Hero’s Feast,
Increases strength and lightens feet.
2. Elven Cloaks
Elven Cloaks, mist and smoke,
Disappear, our stealth awoke.
3. Conjure Fire Ball
Swarm their gates!
Raze their walls!
fire ball, Fire Ball,
Fire Ball, DEATH!!
4. Shadow Faux
Bread for knights with swift attacks,
we summon forth great Shadow Faux.
(mak-ith the voices of great steeds)
Born of thunder, earth and stones,
we summon forth to break some bones,
mountain trolls, Mountain Trolls,
MOUNTAIN TROLLS!!
(Roar-ith)
Woodland pleasures, woodland pleasures,
Spank the Nymphs and Pork the Saytrs.
Woodland pleasures, woodland pleasures,
Yarrgh!!
7. Eldrich Blast
From Elven lines of an ancient past,
We draw from our blood an…
ELDRICH BLAST!!
Hairy Haunches Oh My Lord,
Handsome beasts with hooves of four,
Centaurs Centaurs at your door!
Hide your booty and your whores!
Healing Light, Healing Light,
Through the dark and mist of night,
Elven magic restores our might.
10. Wing-ed Boots
Hark! The sound of Magic Flutes,
Draw on your feet your Wing-ed Boots.
11. Plague
Puss, Boils, Rotting Flesh,
Gang Greene Limbs and Fecal Mess,
through the water, through the air,
STDs, We Don’t Care!
Plague Plague, Plague!!
12. Call to Arms
Weapons come hither,
with Arrows and Quivers,
A Dwarven war Axe,
with Halberd and staff,
We draw-ith our Maces,
So shield-ith your Faces.
13. Beckon ye Halflings
Halflings, Halflings,
Short and tough things,
just the right height to,
punch you in the Junk!!
They Slit our throats, they Hacked our limbs,
They buried us deep and Now it begins,
Raise the Dead, Raise the Dead,
Raise the Dead, Raise the DEAD!!
(mak-ith a procession or moaning not unlike that of the un-dead)
You can’t hit me me,
I can’t hit you you,
Sanctuary’s upon us,
Nanna Nanna Boo Boo!
16. Magic Missile
Wizard strikes with Magic Missile,
Dead before you hear it whistle!!
17. Summon Wilde Boars
We beckon the beast from the depths of the Earth,
We beckon the beasts of Gargantuan Girth,
Wilde Boars! Wilde Boars!
Hoooooooooooooooooooooo!!
18. Treasure of Smaug
Dragons! Dragons!
Bilbo Baggins!!
Steal us gold to fill our wagons.
Come hither ye Orcs with your tankards of ale,
and drink to the Darkness before it shal fail,
We murdered a wizard and stole his ol’ Keg,
It’ll never run dry, “It’s Magic” they say.
But the sun will soon rise and turn us to stone,
So let’s hack off this flesh that still clings to these Bones.
We’ll forget of our troubles and ugly old mugs,
As one’s face will look better when covered with blood.
Let us pile our platters with mountains of meat,
For it’s eating and drinking that bring us relief.
And fill up your goblets and pass ‘em around,
Better under the table than under the ground!!
Moral Boosting Song
From deep in the Earth comes a bolstering song,
Played on Dwarvish drums and gongs,
It’s a Hymn of Encouragement,
A Ballad for the Strong,
It’s The Great Dwarf Morale Boosting Song!!
Steph and I have decided to make a mockumentary of the tournament. So watch Best in Show, Spinal Tap, or Fellowship of the Dice and get ready to be filmed!
Also, does anyone have a tripod?
the fog rolls back and reveals thee
a leader and friend
gather round the staff
feel its power
to heal and mend
feel its power
to carry us
through the end
but alas
feel its wrath
when the foe does near
a mighty spell he may cast
that all shall fear
I am thinking of dressing like the Lady of Pain for Gandy Goose. Although I am not sure how well I will be able to play with a mantle of blades and a pushup bra.
Magic Missile
Magic Missile
Dead before you hear it whistle!
Heya!!
If you haven't heard Tuesday games have been awesome. The new time is 10am (22nd and Powell) It sound like there'll be a Monday game as well at 11AM. Send me your phone number if you want TEXT reminders on your CELLPHONE. neat. Also, a frisbee tournament is coming up in April on the 12th and 13th in Bend so get time off from your only slightly fulfilling non-profit job early. Again, plan for travel time the day before and after. Rad. Without further adieu...
Increases STRENGTH and Lightens FEET!!
mist and smoke,
disappear,
our stealth awoke...
From deep in the Earth comes a bolstering song,
played on dwarfish drums and gongs,
its a hymn of encouragement,
a ballad for the strong,
ITS THE GREAT DWARF MORALE BOOSTING SOOOONG.
Wizard strikes with MAGIC MISSILE,
Dead before you hear it whistle.
spank the nymphs and pork the satyrs,
Woodland pleasures, Woodland pleasures,
YARGH!!
Wednesday frisbee 9AM at Powell Park (21st and Pow!!)
Wednesday night fiz is getting to dark yo but check it out if you cant do the morning deal cause its still happening.
Awesome.
No pics yet from Vicky but theyre coming.
I love you all.
k. cool.
Who's missing a hand, a left foot, or a leg?
Georgia Strait Floaters are bloated and gray
If they're still around, they've got crutches or pegs.
Georgia Strait Floaters are bloated and gray.
They worked really hard, the wind blew it away
Into the yard where it had to be saved
Georgia Strait Floaters... Yarr!
